Montana Jokes / Recent Jokes
You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let`s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:
"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."
Pretty grim situation, right? But let`s revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot.
Next, we rewrite the text:
"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings more...
The Associated Press has officially declared Democratic challenger, Jon Tester, the winner in the U.S. Senate race in Montana, bringing the Senate up to a total of 50 Democrats.
President Bush admitted to being a bit shocked by the news. Not so much by the Democratic takeover of Congress as by the realization that Montana is a real place.
“I thought it was like Narnia,” he was quoted as saying. "Every time I get my coat out of the wardrobe, I think, Maybe this is the time I'll end up in Montana."
Weird Local USA Sex Laws
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. more...
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you - or holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they're nude.(Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is more...
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you - or holding you in his arms.Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they're nude.(Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds! The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each more...
The last of the missing 11 Egyptian students were found in a Virginia apartment they had rented. Instead of arriving in Bozeman, Montana to attend school, many had gone their separate ways, gotten jobs, and live the American dream. One such dream included delivering pizzas in Baltimore, which coincidently is exactly what a degree from the University of Montana will get you.
When asked why he failed to show up in Montana, Mohamed Saleh Ahmed Maray, replied, "It's Montana."