Illinois Jokes

AT&T charges man $27,000 for watching Chicago Bears game over the web.

$27,000?!! That's it? He actually SAVED money. If he had come to Ford Field in Detroit, you gotta figure: $50 for a cheap seat, $10 minimum for parking, $10 for a hot-dog and chips, $10 for a delicious watered down 3-2 beer, and the $28,000 to replace your stolen car. Do the math people!!!

The Baltimore Orioles traded for Cubs prospect Felix Pie. The Orioles traded for Pie in an effort to land Prince Fielder.

Ryne Sandberg has expressed interest in becoming the Cubs' next manager. Because you have to start somewhere.

I'm on the road again. Spending the weekend here in Peoria, Illinois. I'm not saying there's nothing to do here, but they refer to the new Starbuck's Coffee as "downtown."

1) In Illinois, it is illegal to speak English. Well then, what do they speak? Gibberish?
2) In Crete, Illinois, it is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with someone else's dog. First of all, why would anybody attempt to even have sex with a dog? Second of all, is it okay to attempt to have sex with your own dog?
And finally, my favorite one of all...
3)In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is death. Duh! No, we're all going to magically survive a 50 story drop to the concrete below.