Mink Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing an incredibly gorgeous new mink coat.
"That's a stunning garment, Louise," one woman purred. "It must have cost you a fortune!"
"No, not at all," Louise replied, "just a single piece of ass."
"You mean," the admirer of the coat continued, "one that you gave your husband?"
"No," grinned Louise, "one that he got from the maid."
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier.' 'Show the lady your finest mink!'' the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier discreetly whispers to the man,' 'Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.''
''No problem! I'll write you a check!''
''Very good, sir.'' says the shop owner.' 'Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.''
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged,' 'How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn`t a single penny in your checking account!!''
''I just had to come by,'' grinned the guy,' 'to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!''
Jealously eying her next-door neighbor's new mink stole, the young wife asked how she had been able to afford such an expensive item.
"You probably won't believe it," her neighbor replied, "but I saved up the money by charging my husband five dollars every time we made love."
That night, when her husband tried to fondle her, the young wife, determined to get a mink of her own, promptly stuck out her palm and demanded five dollars. Fumbling through his trousers, the husband complained that he had only $4. 50.
"For $4. 50," she rejoined stubbornly, "you can only sample my affection!"
After several minutes of extensive sampling, however, the aroused wife realized she would not be able to resist her husband's advances much longer. In a final attempt to maintain her newly acquired bargaining position, she whispered in his ear, "If it's all the same to you, dear, why don't I lend you fifty cents until tomorrow?"
A technique perfected by a playboy friend of ours is so unique it deserves a telling.
Quite recently, he had been having difficulty persuading a lovely but stubborn young lady to part with her Victorian moral principles. He tried soft words and soft music; he tried the caveman approach; he tried strong drink. She resisted all these devices. Finally, one Saturday afternoon, he escorted her to an extremely fashionable furrier where he asked to see a collection of their finest mink coats. From these he permitted the girlfriend to choose one costing a cool ten grand.
"I assume you will accept my check," said our friend in a matter-of-fact manner.
The furrier explained that, being Saturday afternoon, the banks were closed and they would be unable to verify his credit until the following Monday. The playboy smiled. "I understand," he said. "Suppose we leave the coat here-I'll drop by Monday and pick it up. Here is my check."
Monday morning more...
Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question.
"Will you marry me, darling?" he asked.Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink."Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, on one condition.""What is that?" Lisa asked."You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied."