Lumberjack Jokes / Recent Jokes

The classified ad said, "Wanted: a very experienced lumberjack". A man answered the ad and was asked to describe his experience.
"I've worked at the Sahara Forest."
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the interviewer.
The man laughed and answered, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"

A blonde travels to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She meets a foreman of a logging organization who offers to give her a job. "Now, I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back drenched in sweat. "Geez lady, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tomorrow!" So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. "How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tomorrow morning!" The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud more...

A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram."Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man."Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack."Take your axe and go cut it down!"The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?""In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man."You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.The little man laughed and answered back..."Oh sure, that's what they call it now!

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked ashard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three treesin a day.His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybehis chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was workingfine.The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"

A grungy old lumberjack, in town for the first time in weeks, went to the local brothel and demanded the roughest, toughest and meanest girl in the house.
"That'll be Mary," said the madam. "Go to Room Four, and I'll send her up."
"Fine, "said the lumberjack," and tell her to bring a couple of beers."
In due time, Mary appeared. She put the two bottles of beer on the floor, took off her negligee, positioned herself on her hands and knees and pointed to her pussy.
"No! No!" exclaimed the lumberjack. "In the bed, the old-fashioned way!"
"Sure, pal," grunted Mary, "but I thought ya might want to open them beers first."

The foreman laughed when a tiny old man in a plaid shirt applied for a job as a lumberjack.
"So, you think you can be a lumberjack? What's your experience?" asked the foreman.

"I've felled a million trees, single-handed," said the lumberjack. "Ever hear of the Sahara Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert," corrected the foreman. "Sure...now!"

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tommorow." The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. 'How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning."The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a more...