Loser Jokes / Recent Jokes

Never bet on a loser because you think his luck is about to change.

A Great Loser Definition Of "A Great Loser": A Person Who Dials A Number (Written With Lipstick On A Phone Booth) And.... . . His Wife Picks Up The Phone...; -)

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.
"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. "Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it."

We had a great neighborhood watch going when I was a kid... until she closed her curtains.
He's what every woman wants - strong, sensitive... battery operated!
There is no truth in the rumor that Roy Rogers's horse Trigger sued him for palomino-mony.
Chap with a fetish walks into a sex shop and asks "So how's the leather been lately?"
The latest product on the market in the continuing war against white ants - it's called 'Arson'.
Unfortunately, since I went on the wagon, the wagon went and got a liquor licence.
Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
Marriage - nature's way of stopping people fighting with strangers.
OK, so God made Heaven and Earth. But what has he done recently?
Graffiti Dyslexics of the world - untie!
My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. Which is more than I can say for the three passengers he had in his car at the time.
My friend is so full of self-importance - when he dies, he more...

Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You're going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn't leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? I never left you to go out with anybody except your father. There are lots of things that you did and I don't. What are you hinting at? Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight. You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out? My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone! So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place? He's not a loser. A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? Poor children with such a mother. Such as what? With no stability. No more...

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.""Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off... watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!""Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hear more...