Leah Jokes

Madame Freda
For months, Leah had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlour of Madame Sadie.
"Cyril, Madame Sadie is a real gypsy and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them. Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace. Cyril, for only £30 you can talk to your zaida who you miss so much."
Cyril could not resist and at the next seance, there was Cyril sitting under the coloured light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side of him. All were humming.
Madame Sadie, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. "My medium Vashtri, who is that with you? Mr Himmelfarb? Cyril`s zaida?"
Cyril swallowed the lump in his throat and called, "Grandpa? zaida?"
"Ah, Cyril?" a thin voice quavered.
"Yes, yes," cried Cyril, "this is your Cyril, zaida, are you happy in the other more...

It was my daughter Leahs orientation day at kindergarten.The teacher showed the different stations and asked the kids to pick one to play at, at that point Leah picked the kitchen and four young chaps followed.The boys each found a chair and sat at the table and Leah proceeded to cook them an elaborate plastic dinner all enjoyed and rubbed their tummies mmmmmmm said one boy wheres the dessert Leah rolled her eyes (she had about enough of this kitchen stuff i guess) but went ahead and made them somthin for dessert.The boys wiped there mouths and at that point got up from the table thanked her and said they had to go to work.Well little leah blocked the exit way stood taller than Id ever seen her, pointed sternly at the sink and said not so fast...DISHES!!!

Isaac and Sarah got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Sarah immediately telephoned her mother Leah. "Well," said Leah, "how was the honeymoon,darling?" "Oh mom," Sarah replied, "the honeymoon was fantastic. It was so romantic, and. .and..." Then Sarah started to cry. "Oh mom, as soon as we got back, Isaac started using terrible language. He said things I'd never hoped to hear, all those 4-letter words. Please mom, get into your car now and come and take me home." "Calm down, darling," said Leah, "tell your mother what could be that awful. Don't be shy, tell me what 4-letter words Isaac used." "Please mom, I'm too embarrassed to tell you, they're terrible words. Just come and take me away." said Sarah. "But bubeleh, you must tell me, you must tell me what the 4-letter words were."
Still crying, Sarah replies, "Oh mom, he used words like WASH, COOK, IRON, DUST,. more...