Lankan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once a American(Bob) came to Dehiwalla Zoo. A Srilankan(Pala) who was guiding with him and he hardly translate English.
First Bob saw bunch of Snakes on a pond and he was asking Pala what do you call that. Pala replies that is "Waterbariyas Compound".
Second Bob saw some kind of leafs and he was asking Pala what is this. And Pala replies that is "Halapa Otheniyas".
Finally Bob saw some bugs and he was asking the same question again and Pala replies that is "Lake Puit", the correct answer was "Calamadhiriya" or "Puke Light".

An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So, the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sri Lankan was located who had a similar type of blood. The Sri Lankan >willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Rolls Royce, diamonds, Lapiz Lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. Few years later, once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sri Lankan who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan a thank you (ahsante) card and a jar of Almond Roca Sweets. The Sri Lankan was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sri Lankan's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he more...

IT HURTS... BUT IT'S TRUE.....
>------------------------------
>Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
>A. Muttiah Muralitharan
>
>Q. What is the height of optimism?
>A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
>
>Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was Sri Lankan?
>A. An all-rounder.
>
>Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
>A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
>
>Q. Why is Upul Chandana the unluckiest bowler on tour?
>A. Because he was born in Sri Lanka.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
>A. Three runs in three balls.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a maiden over?
>A. Sarita Rajendran now De Silva (Aravinda's wife).
>
>Q. When does the ball travel at its fastest in this world cup?
>A. An Eric Upashantha delivery flying towards the boundary.
>
>Q. Why don't Sri Lankan more...

Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
A. Muttiah Muralitharan

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why did Nawaz more...

1) TV'S GALORE
Udurawana is buying a TV."Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
2) Flying High
Udurawana calls Air Lanka.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a second," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Udurawana and cuts the line.
3) EMPLOYMENT.
Udurawana was filling up an application form
for a job. He filled the columns titled NAME, AGE,
ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected: After much thought he wrote: Yes
4) CROCODILE BOOTS.
Udurawana proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off
to Africa and disappears. Finally a search team
found him hunting a huge crocodiles. He walks
over to the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"70th damn croc and this bugger is also barefeet!"
5) Thermos
Udurawana more...

Their was a Sri Lankan Association formed in a foreign country. Many people tried to become the President but one succeeded not because of his qualifications, his street smartness. to get things moving and raise some funds for the association the president purposed a dinner dance to be organizes. so the committee proposed with a music group from Sri Lanka in a five star hotel with Rafael draws and printing souvenir etc.
so the committee got to work and asked the president to arrange a letter for the dummy (to collect advertisement to print a souvenir for the fund raising) not knowing what a dummy was and not willing to show to the committee that the president of the association lacks the knowledge he asked

where are we going to keep the dummy in the music hall?

A SRI LANKAN MOTHER comes to visit her son Sunil who lives
with a female roommate naming Sunita, for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother could not help but notice how pretty Sunil's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Sunil and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Sunil volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Sunil saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he
sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you' did' take the more...