Lamb Jokes / Recent Jokes
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks more...
mary had a little lamb
she took the lamb to bed
the lamb turned out to be a RAM
and mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb it's coat was full of fleas
but now the stupid twat has foot and mouth disease
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead,
Now she takes it to school
Between two slices of bread.
Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pile-on,
10,000 volts went up its tail
and turned its wool to nylon.
Once there was a lady who had small tits. Well on day she heard about this doctor called Dr. Johnson.So of course she went to see him. He told her how he could help, but she had second thoughts about doing it. He told her to pinch her tits and sing, "
mary had a little lamb. its fleece was white as snow. anywhere that mary went that lamb was sure to go"
Well sure enough she did, and she went from eggs to oranges. she thought it worked so well she wanted to go to melons. well on day she was on a city bus and, she just started sing and pinching her tits. the guy that was sittin next to her said,"
hey you go to dr johnson dont you?"
she was like, "
yeah how did you know?"
all of a sudden he starts to hit his dick and starts to sing, "
hickory-dickory dock!"