Interviews Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies, "Thats a good piece of fir." "Correct, says the manager, now try this one." "Thats a bad piece of willow," says the blind man. "Correct," answers the manager. With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. "I'm confused, says the blind man, Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind man says, "Oh, youre trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. Its the shit house more...

Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.
The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do?
About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.
"I know, I know, I know the more...

I'm surprised that nobody has posted any jokes regarding this scandal yet.
For anybody overseas, or living in a cave, this woman Heidi ran a brothel that catered to Hollywood's biggest stars, movie executives, and (allegedly) professional sports players.
She got caught, and the whole affair has Hollywood buzzing. There are rumors that the judge is going to subpoena her black book, which contains all of her customers. The press has nicknamed her the "Madam of the stars."
Because of her sudden fame, she is selling interviews, pictures, etc. (She is a prostitute after all...) I heard these prices on the radio this morning.
The movie rights to her life story, including the scandal, will be sold for $1 million dollars. (This is a very high price for movie rights, but many of the top movie executives will willingly pay more for the story, to make sure that they are NOT portrayed in the movie!)
A picture of the COVER of her black book, listing her clients, sells more...

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent
most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't
bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch.
If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify
ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light
years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of
100 major American corporations and asked for stories of
unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job
application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and
the music at the same time."
3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to
office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the
personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and more...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair, Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the same more...

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's more...

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's side. more...