Applicants Jokes

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    Rejection letter!

    Hot 6 years ago

    Dear Manager,
    Thank you for your letter of April 25th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your company.
    This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
    Despite your companies outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August.
    I look forward to seeing you then.
    Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
    Sincerely,
    Interviewee

    Santa was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
    Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.
    The next day the first applicant was called in.
    The president posed the question, "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
    He thought for a moment and replied, "That would have to be a thought."
    "Why do you say that?" asked the president.
    "Well, a thought takes no time at all...it is more...

    We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.
    What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."
    1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.
    2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
    3. Brought her large dog to the interview.
    4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
    5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.
    6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
    7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
    8. Applicant more...

    We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.3. Brought her large dog to the interview.4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.9. Asked more...

    We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent
    most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't
    bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch.
    If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify
    ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light
    years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of
    100 major American corporations and asked for stories of
    unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:
    1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job
    application."
    2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and
    the music at the same time."
    3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to
    office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
    4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the
    personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
    5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and more...

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