International Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat.2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.4. In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.5. In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.6. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.8. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension (???).9. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today: no ice cream.10. On the menu of a Swiss more...

    An International Breakfast
    At a breakfast table, there was a British couple, an American couple and an
    Australian couple.
    The British husband, who liked to use puns, said to his wife, "Can you pass
    the honey, Honey?"
    Not wanting to lose out, the American husband turned and said to his wife, "Do
    you mind passing the sugar, Sugar?"
    The Australian husband did not want to lose out either, but he could not think
    how he could copy the other 2 husbands. Finally, he spoke to his wife, "Pass
    me the bacon, you Pig!!"

    ... and pledges not to move alone unless no one agrees with it
    Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult with its allies before doing whatever the hell it was going to do anyway.
    "Prior to taking action against any enemy nation, such as Iraq, we will confer with our allies, as well as other countries in that region," pledged U.S. President George W. Bush. "We will sit down with them. We will begin by explaining what our position is, and then we will...
    "... no, wait. That's everything."
    The announcement seemingly failed to address unease among world leaders that without their consent, U.S. action against Iraq will lead them all into a wider conflict. Bush, however, said his administration was well aware of international concerns, and would handle them internally.
    Except for effect, the administration said its new stance more...

    ... and pledges not to move alone unless no one agrees with it
    Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult with its allies before doing whatever the hell it was going to do anyway.
    "Prior to taking action against any enemy nation, such as Iraq, we will confer with our allies, as well as other countries in that region," pledged U.S. President George W. Bush. "We will sit down with them. We will begin by explaining what our position is, and then we will...
    "... no, wait. That's everything."
    The announcement seemingly failed to address unease among world leaders that without their consent, U.S. action against Iraq will lead them all into a wider conflict. Bush, however, said his administration was well aware of international concerns, and would handle them internally.
    Except for effect, the administration said its new stance more...

    Acronyms for International AirlinesItalyALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In ArrivalALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia
    BritainBOAC = Better on a camel
    BelgiumSABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again
    PakistanPIA = Please, Inform Allah
    YugoslaviaJAT = Joke About Time
    Pacific Western AirlinesPWA = Pray While AloftPWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines
    Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.

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