Hosts Jokes

1996 will be remembered for: "The introduction of' doggy bottles' for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit. The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses. The marketing of genuine' Lesbian-produced' wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands. The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label - showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus - was' an enticement for child abuse'. And the invention in Japan of a woman's bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each' cup'." "... Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja - you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and rose Arses - and my more...

An Australian businessman goes to Japan to negotiate a deal. On his first night his obiliging hosts take him to a high class brothel, where he is given a choice of women. He retires to a room, climbs aboard and give his prostitute a red-hot go, finishes up, and leaves. On his way out he asks the madam, "Excuse me, the girl was fantastic, aboslutely brilliant. But tell me one thing- on every downstroke, she'd scrunch up her face and yell' WARAMAKAZI! , WARAMAKAZI! , It was amazing Tell me what does it mean? " The madam seems embarrassed, but manages to tell the man that the word means " Very Good".

Happy the man goes to his hotel. The next day his hosts take him golfing. On the second tee, his Japanese host hits an amazing drive down the middle of the fairway which bounces twice on the green and trickles into the cup for a perfect ace. The Australian businessman turns and yells "WARAMAKAZI! , WARAMAKAZI! "

His hosts turns and says, more...

A delegation from the USA came to Norway, and after the grand reception and everything, asked to be taken to the monument of the unknown soldier.
The hosts became very confused, and didn't know what to do - they had no such thing - they feared a diplomatic incident!
Suddenly - one of the hosts said - follow me! So - desperate as they were - they did - they followed him. Suddenly - they came to a hill, on top of which there was a statue of Sibelius.
Puzzled, everyone asked him what was that supposed to be! and so he explained: "Sibelius was very very famous as a composer, but as a soldier - he was completely unknown!"
Before anybody decides to correct me if i m wrong - DON'T CONFUSE ME WITH FACTS!

1996 will be remembered for:
"The introduction of 'doggy bottles' for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit.
The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses.
The marketing of genuine 'Lesbian-produced' wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands.
The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label - showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus - was 'an enticement for child abuse'.
And the invention in Japan of a woman's bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each 'cup'."
"...Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja - you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and more...