Hippo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?" "I did," said the centipede."Who stopped the rhino?" "Uh, that was me too," said the centipede."And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?""Well, that was me as well," said the centipede."So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach."Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie....

    1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

    2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?(USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney- can Ifollow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.. .

    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.(Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in more...

    Questions about Australia

    Hot 8 months ago

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie.
    1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
    2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking
    3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.
    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? more...

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals. At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss. The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?" "I did" said the centipede. "Who stopped the rhino?" "Uh, that was me too" said the centipede. "And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?" "Well, that was me as well," said the centipede. "SO WHERE WERE YOU THE FIRST HALF?" demanded the coach. "Well" said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
    At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
    The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"
    "I did," said the centipede.
    "Who stopped the rhino?"
    "Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
    "And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
    "Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
    "So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
    "Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles more...

  • Recent Activity