Hated Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bad Thoughts
A couple were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary at their home.
Everyone was having a great time except for the wife who sat off in a corner with a tear in her eye. The family attorney came over to her and asked what was wrong. The wife told him, "Remember when we first got married and I told you that I couldn't stand him after about a month into the marriage? I really hated him at the time."
"Yeah, I remember those trying times." replied the attorney.
"I absolutely positively hated him. I even had bad thoughts of killing him, remember?"
"Yes, I do."
"But you kept telling me to get rid of those thoughts. You said that I would get up to thirty years for such a crime."
"That was a long time ago though. Why are you so sad now?"
"Because... I could have been a free woman by now!"
A couple were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary at their home.
Everyone was having a great time except for the wife who sat off in a corner with a tear in her eye. The family attorney came over to her and asked what was wrong. The wife told him, "Remember when we first got married and I told you that I couldn't stand him after about a month into the marriage? I really hated him at the time."
"Yeah, I remember those trying times." replied the attorney.
"I absolutely positively hated him. I even had bad thoughts of killing him, remember?"
"Yes, I do."
"But you kept telling me to get rid of those thoughts. You said that I would get up to thirty years for such a crime."
"That was a long time ago though. Why are you so sad now?"
"Because...I could have been a free woman by now!"
A lorry driver hated lawyers so much that whenever he saw one he would run him over. One day, he picked up a priest who was hitch-hiking. On their way into town, the driver spotted a lawyer on the pavement, and drove straight towards him to knock him down. The priest, alarmed by such driving, opened the door as if to jump out. Suddenly the driver remembered who was in the truck with him and, at the last moment, swerved to miss the lawyer. "I am sorry, Father," he confessed. "I almost hit that lawyer." The priest smiled and said: "Don? t worry, my son. I got him with the door!"
A couple were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary at their home.Everyone was having a great time except for the wife who sat off in a corner with a tear in her eye. The family attorney came over to her and asked what was wrong. The wife told him, "Remember when we first got married and I told you that I couldn't stand him after about a month into the marriage? I really hated him at the time.""Yeah, I remember those trying times." replied the attorney."I absolutely positively hated him. I even had bad thoughts of killing him, remember?""Yes, I do.""But you kept telling me to get rid of those thoughts. You said that I would get up to thirty years for such a crime.""That was a long time ago though. Why are you so sad now?""Because...I could have been a free woman by now!"
Every Chad down in Chadville liked voting a lot.
But the Grinch, from North Chadville, most certainly did not!
The Grinch hated voting! He thought it a bore.
Now, please don't ask why. Could be Bush, could be Gore.
It could be his heart bled with liberal mush.
It could be, perhaps, that he listened to Rush.
But I think the real reason his trust was so shattered
Was the great Grinchy view that his vote never mattered.
Whatever the reason, Lack of trust, lack of goals,
The Grinch dreaded that day when Chads went to the polls.
He just hated those speeches and negative ads,
And when push came to shove, he just hated the Chads.
He just hated their theme parks, their football-team rooters,
He just hated their gun laws, their barmaids at Hooters.
He just hated their weather, even hated their hate.
And he hated that they were a battleground state.
"So they're making their choices," he snarled with a more...
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.