Happily Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Category: Situation
    Body: A lecher, a drunkard and a smoker arrive at hell and the devil says to them:
    "Don't worry, everything is happy here. To you, lecher, I am going to give you a full room of beautiful girls. To you, drunkard, I give you a thousand boxes of beer. And to you, smoker, I give you one ton of cigarettes. I will return after 10 years to see how you are."
    The 10 years passed and the devil returns. The lecher, happily, says to the devil: "Give me more girls than these, they are already boring to me." Soon it's going to see the drunkard and, also happily, says to the devil: "Give me more beers. I have already finished all of them". At last, it's going to see the smoker. But the devil finds the smoker has gotten very upset, and asks him: "Why you are annoying if I have given one ton of cigarettes?"
    Why was the smoker annoying, even if the devil had given him one ton of cigarettes?
    Hint: Read carefully.

    Chilhood: When you make faces at mirror. Middle age is when mirror gets even.
    Bald man: A person who has lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.
    Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a women gets her master's.
    Doctor: Who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
    Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a women who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
    Indian Film Heroines: If they display their assets, the producer recovers his liabilities.

    Happily Addicted to the Web
    (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
    Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
    From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
    I'm happy-although
    My boss let me go-
    Happily addicted to the Web.
    All night long, I sit clicking,
    Unaware time is ticking,
    There's beard on my cheek,
    Same clothes for a week,
    Happily addicted to the Web.
    Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!
    Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
    With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man;
    I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"
    I don't phone, don't send faxes,
    Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
    Who cares if someday
    They drag me away?
    I'm happily addicted to the Web!

    Happily Addicted to the Web (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
    Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy-although My boss let me go- Happily addicted to the Web.
    All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web.
    Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?" With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man; I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"
    I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if someday They drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web!

    Happily Addicted to the Web (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy-although My boss let me go- Happily addicted to the Web.All night long, I sit clicking, Unaware time is ticking, There's beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week, Happily addicted to the Web.Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?" With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man; I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"I don't phone, don't send faxes, Don't go out, don't pay taxes, Who cares if someday They drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web!

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