Gordon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.

Jeff Gordon got married in a private ceremony in Mexico, mainly because gay marriage is illegal in the United States.

During a speech to commemorate D-Day, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown mispronounced "Omaha Beach" when he called it "Obama Beach". It may not have been a mistake, because he later referred to the "Battle of the Bulge" as "Dinner at Rush Limbaugh's House".

An avid church goer and NASCAR fan died and went to heaven. Upon entering, this person noticed pro driver Alan Kulwicki's race car, and asked St. Peter about it. St. Peter said Alan was in heaven and his car was on display.
Walking a little further, the man sees Davey Allison's car. Once again he inquired to St. Peter about it.
"Davey Allison is also in heaven. In fact, God's a BIG NASCAR fan, so when drivers die, their race cars get put on display."
Walking further, the individual came upon Jeff Gordon's #24 Chevrolet - the phenomenal kid who is breaking every record on the racing circuit. At this sight, the new heaven dweller panicked!
"Oh, No! St. Peter, Jeff Gordon was about to win the Championship this year, and you mean to tell me he has just died?!?"
"No, no," St. Peter chuckled, "That's God's car. He lets Jeff use it on weekends."