Gordon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dr Gordon, a prominent psychiatrist, was a guest at a chic gathering and his blonde hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?""Nothing is easier," Dr Gordon replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the right track.""What sort of question?" asked the hostess."Well, you might ask him,' Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' "The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.

Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.

Quoted from Unix World, November, 1989:
The grim reality is that every life ends with a death. Funeral homes
exist to make that fact a little more tolerable.... UNIX can help
here, too. The Gordon Funeral Chapel, for instance, does much of its
accounting on an AT class, multiuser machine running XENIX....
. .. For example, Gordon says his system has to be able to classify two
kinds of customer, "at-need," those who are actually deceased, and
"pre-need," those who have made arrangements for funerals while still
living. Moreover, the system has to be able to convert one kind of
customer to the other as the need arises...