Furious Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a more...

Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone!
The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day
Harry the Hare was hopping through the forest when he saw Floella
sitting on top of a toadstool, combing her hair. Floella said,
"Hello, handsome, give us a kiss!"
Harry the Hare was shocked. "Father Christmas doesn't allow that! he gasped. "Anyone caught kissing a fairy will be turned straight
away into Goon!"
But Floella tickled his ears - just the way hares love and
whispered, "Don't worry, we won't get caught!"
Harry the Hare trembled with fear and excitement. He looked
carefully over his furry brown shoulder, saw that no one was
looking. .. and more...

Pope John Paul II gets to heaven. St. Peter says, "Frankly, you're lucky to be here."
The Pope says, "Why? What did I do wrong on earth?"
St. Peter says, "G-d was very angry with your stance on women becoming priests."
The Pope says, "He's mad about THAT?"
St. Peter says, "She's furious."

The teacher was furious with her son. "Just because youve been put in my class, theres no need to think you can take liberties. Youre a pig." The boy said nothing. "Well! Do you know what a pig is?" "Yes, Mom," said the boy. "The offspring of a swine."

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in. After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious." If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there." After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance. Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell. A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, more...

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls more...

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money
as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a
zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a
gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will
fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get
another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before
crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play
and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on
tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion
in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, more...