Equilibrium Jokes

If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet. But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?

Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself, you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamnics demand that the cat cannot smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.

That's right, you clever mortal, you have discovered the secret of anti-gravity!! A buttered cat, will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter-repulsion are in more...

Ever notice that when you drop a buttered piece of bread, it drops butter side down? And what about cats? Cats always land on their feet, right? So, the question is, what would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped the cat from any local precipice? The results are obvious! The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash it's furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall. That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some more...

This question was posted to the Usenet Oracle:
If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side
down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it
will land on it's feet. But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread,
butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat
land on it's feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to
deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must
hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that
the cat can not smash it's furry back. If the combined construct were to land,
nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not
fall.
That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have
discovered more...