Economist Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.
The woman asks: "Will this cure my illness?"
Answer of the doctor: "No, but the half year will seem pretty long."
Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife?"
The other responds, "Relative to what?"
I asked an economist for her phone number... and she gave me an estimate.
Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the thing he predicted yesterday did not happen today.
Top economist Valentine's Day cards4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.3. Let's raise housing starts together.2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist. ”
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it! ”
Q: How has French revolution affected world more...
Why did the market economist cross the road? To reach the consensus forecast. What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates? Deflator mouse How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it. How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb. How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on the wage rate.
The following is supposedly a true story.
An economist was about to give a presentation in Washington, DC on the problems with Black-Scholes model of option pricing and was expecting no more than a dozen of government officials attending.
To his amazement, when he arrived, the room was packed with edgy, tough-looking guys in shades. Still, after five or so minutes into the presentation all of them stood up and left without a word.
The economist found out only later that his secretary ran the presentation through a spell-checker and what was "The Problem with Black-Scholes" became "The Problem with Black Schools".