Donald Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were up in a hotel room and decided that they wanted to have sex. Well, the first thing Minnie asks is, "Do you have a condom?"
    Donald says "No."
    Minnie tells Donald that if he doesn't get a condom that they can't have sex and suggests to Donald that he go buy a condom. She says that maybe they sell them at the front desk.
    Donald proceeds to go downstairs and gets to the front desk. He asks the hotel clerk if they sell condoms. The clerk says "yes we do" and pulls one out from under the desk and gives it to Donald.
    The clerk asks "Would you like me to put that on your bill?"
    Donald says "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?

    (Forwarded by an English buddy who lives in Scotland)
    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there.
    After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whiskey).
    "How do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
    "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."
    "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"
    "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

    A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the
    Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about
    the way of life there.
    REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I'm from the BBC and I'm gathering
    material for a documentary about the way of life in the
    remote parts of the Scottish Highlands. You look like an
    interesting fellow, perhaps I could interview you??
    SCOTSMAN: Certainly...
    REPORTER: Well, perhaps you could start by telling me your name?
    SCOTSMAN: Well now there's a story. Y'know I deliver the mail round
    here, but do they call me Donald the Postman? No they don't.
    You see those fine crofts up on the hill there, well, I built
    more than half of them myself, but do they call me Donald
    the Croftbuilder? No, they don't.
    And did you pass the nets down in the harbour? Well, I made
    several of them, but do they call me Donald the Netmaker? No,
    they don't.
    But, I tell you, a moment's weakness with more...

    A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the
    Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about
    the way of life there.
    REPORTER:
    Hello there, excuse me, I'm from the BBC and I'm gathering
    material for a documentary about the way of life in the
    remote parts of the Scottish Highlands. You look like an
    interesting fellow, perhaps I could interview you?
    SCOTSMAN:
    Certainly...
    REPORTER:
    Well, perhaps you could start by telling me your name?
    SCOTSMAN:
    Well now there's a story. Y'know I deliver the mail round
    here, but do they call me Donald the Postman? No they don't.
    You see those fine crofts up on the hill there, well, I built
    more than half of them myself, but do they call me Donald
    the Croftbuilder? No, they don't.
    And did you pass the nets down in the harbour? Well, I made
    several of them, but do they call me Donald the Netmaker? No,
    they don't.
    But, I tell you, a more...

    A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of theScottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary aboutthe way of life there.REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I'm from the BBC and I'm gathering material for a documentary about the way of life in the remote parts of the Scottish Highlands. You look like an interesting fellow, perhaps I could interview you? SCOTSMAN: Certainly... REPORTER: Well, perhaps you could start by telling me your name? SCOTSMAN: Well now there's a story. Y'know I deliver the mail round here, but do they call me Donald the Postman? No they don't. You see those fine crofts up on the hill there, well, I built more than half of them myself, but do they call me Donald the Croftbuilder? No, they don't. And did you pass the nets down in the harbour? Well, I made several of them, but do they call me Donald the Netmaker? No, they don't. But, I tell you, a moment's weakness with just ONE sheep....

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