Democrat Jokes / Recent Jokes
The "Two Cow Explanation" of what makes...
A Christian Democrat: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A Socialist (or a Canadian New Democrat): You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A Republican (or a Canadian Conservative): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A Democrat (or a Canadian Liberal): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
Democracy, American Style: You have two cows. The more...
Senator Ted Kennedy made a speech the other day endorsing Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.
When candidate Hillary Clinton was asked how this would affect her relationship with Kennedy in the Senate she said, "We'll drive over that bridge when we come to it."
By a vote of 5 to 4, the Supreme Court today rescinded Vice President Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize and awarded it to President Bush instead.
Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Roberts stated that "President George W. Bush has done more than any person in the world to demonstrate what an elusive prize peace is."
Nobel laureate biologist Jim Watson apologized "unreservedly" Thursday for stating that black people were "not as intelligent as whites".
Fellow Nobel prize winner Al Gore was appalled by the comments because the committee that awarded him was all "stupid white people".
It was reported that Chelsea Clinton was barred from voting last Tuesday because her name had been left out of the voting station’s registration book, proving once and for all that Chelsea Clinton is black.
I think I’ve got this Elliot Spitzer thing all figured out. During this past year Governor Spitzer tried to pass a law allowing illegal immigrants to have a driver’s license.
Makes sense to me. How else were these hookers getting to the Governor’s mansion?
In an odd bit of news, a woman in China has a 5-inch horn growing out of her forehead. When hearing this story Bill Clinton said he was suprised cause he thought Hillary was the only one who could grow horns out of her head.