Coworker Jokes / Recent Jokes

It has come to my attention recently that many people have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (code 5300). To our department, unproductive time isn't a problem.
What is a problem is not knowing exactly what people are doing during their unproductive time.
I've attached a sheet specifying a tentative extended job list based on my observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please distribute this as necessary, and let me know about any difficulties.
For your timesheets:
Job numberExplanation
5300Meeting
5300-100
Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5300-200
Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5310
Breaks5310-100
Waiting for Break
5310-110
Buying Snack
5310-120
Eating Snack
5310-200
Waiting for Lunch
5310-210
Ordering more...

It has come to our attention recently that many of you
have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts
of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However,
we need to know exactly what you are doing during your
unproductive time.
Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended
job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of
precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let
us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you,
Accounting
Attached: Extended Job-Code List
...
Code Description
***
5316 - Useless Meeting
5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 - Waiting for Break
5320 - Waiting for Lunch
5321 - Waiting for End of Day
5322 - Vicious Verbal more...

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of Miscellaneous Unproductive Time (code 5309). To our department, unproductive time is not a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing with your unproductive time.

The newly installed Activity Based Costing Financial System requires additional information to achieve its goals. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with better precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you may encounter.

Extended Task Code List Code # Explanation:

5000 Surfing the Net
5001 Reading/Writing Social Email
5002 Sharing Social E-Mail (see codes #5003, #5004)
5003 Collecting Jokes more...

To All Employees: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timecards that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). Note that unproductive time isn't a problem.

What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter. Thank you, Accounting. Attached: Extended Job Code List

Code Number Explanation ---------- -----------
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for more...

MEMO FROM ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code Description
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks more...

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of miscellaneous unproductive time.
It has become a problem not knowing exactly what you are doing with your unproductive time. Below is a list of new job codes and a description for each code based on observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with better precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Please begin using this job code list immediately!

05000 Surfing the Net
05001 Reading/Writing Social E-mail
05002 Sharing Social E-Mail (see codes 05003, 05004)
05003 Collecting Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
05004 Forwarding Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
05005 Faxing Jokes and Other Humorous Material to Friends not on E-Mail
05317 Obstructing communications at meeting
05318 Trying to sound knowledgeable while in Meeting
05319 Waiting for more...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring. This man knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
"So, really? How long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in our bed."