Covering Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    /* OK, we won't have a Punny week again in a long time... :-) */
    It was a warn Southern California evening when the jury reached a verdict in the O. J. Simpson case. The nation was anxiously awaiting the jury's verdict and newsmen were rapidly arriving on the rumors that the decision would finally be announced. At that moment, Judge Ito was in his backyard Bar-B-Qing filet mignon for the family's evening dinner. The bailiff phoned the Ito residence and when Mrs. Ito answered, requested that the Judge be notified and suggested that the judge should return to the court house as soon as possible. Mrs. Ito refused the bailiff's request because, she insisted, "HIS HONOR WAS AT STEAK."
    A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?
    "That it is," more...

    A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.
    He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"
    "That it is, "Irish Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball."
    "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat.
    "How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike.
    "Well," mused Pat, "there's a lesson in this somewhere."
    "That there is," replied Irish Mike...." 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."

    A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?""That it is, "Irish Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.""You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat."How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike."Well," mused Pat, "there's a lesson in this somewhere.""That there is," replied Irish Mike...." 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."

    Billy-Bob and Peggy-Sue got married and had a baby every year or less. After having their 11th child, the couple told the doctor that they were going to stop having babies as soon as they could figure out what was causing them.
    The doctor suggested to Billy-Bob that he try covering the organ before they made love.
    Sure enough, it wasn't long before Peggy-Sue was pregnant again. The doctor asked Billy-Bob if he had tried covering his organ like he had suggested they do.
    Billy-Bob replied, "We don't have an organ, Doc, but I did throw a blanket over the piano."

    It has come to my attention recently that many people have been turning
    in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive
    Time" (code 5300). To our department, unproductive time isn't a problem.
    What is a problem is not knowing exactly what people are doing during
    their unproductive time.
    I've attached a sheet specifying a tentative extended job list based on
    my observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify
    with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive
    time. Please distribute this as necessary, and let me know about any
    difficulties.
    For your timesheets:
    Job number Explanation
    ---
    5300 Meeting
    5300-100 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
    5300-200 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
    5310 Breaks
    5310-100 Waiting for Break
    5310-110 Buying Snack
    5310-120 Eating Snack
    5310-200 Waiting for Lunch
    5310-210 more...

  • Recent Activity