Corner Jokes / Recent Jokes
Anthony`s Law of Force: Don`t force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony`s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Baker`s Law: Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it. - Columnist Russell Baker
Banacek`s Eighteenth Polish Proverb: The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
Barker`s Proof: Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Becker`s Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one. - Jules Becker Co. (Becker goes on to claim that his law permeates industry as well as government, "... once a person has been hired inertia sets in, and the employer would rather settle for the current employee`s incompetence and idiosyncrasies than look for a new employee.")
Belle`s Constant: The ratio of time more...
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially
so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an
extra source of income.
The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed
her he would be at the side of the building if she had any
questions or problems.
A gentlemen pulled up shortly after and asked her how much
to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran
around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told
her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the
client at which he cried "That was too much!" He then
asked "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a
minute and ran to ask her husband how much.
The husband said "Ask for $40". The woman ran back and
informed the client.
He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove
his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing
the woman more...
Her face is on the front of a food stamp.
That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said' Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the' facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner... ANY corner..."
I visited yo momma's house, more...
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom& Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundrydetergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's verypowerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. Infact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergentto the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried totalk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy somecandy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he wassorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to usethat detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't more...
A man walk in to a bar and says i want 14 beers the bartinder says you can only have 7 at a time the man says what ever give me 7 he drinks thim then he says give me 7 more he drinks thim to he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the bartender says go sit in the corner! than a nother person comes in he said i want 14 beers he drinks thim he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the guy in the corner says moo!!
The Rookie Cop...
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."
A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again...
"I SAID, let's get off that corner... NOW!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures hell spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response:"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, Ill giveyou two dollars. Everybody wins."