Corner Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular and tell her to pee in a corner.
How does the blonde confuse you?
She pees in a corner
Two employees form the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, "Geez, you''re old!"
"Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you," replied the older employee.
"How about a foot race to see if you''re right," said the younger employee.
With that they start running at full speed around that block. The older man kept up with the younger man around the first corner, the second corner, the third corner. As they come up on the last corner, the younger man sees an elderly woman running as fast as her legs could carry her. Puzzled by this, they both stop ask her why she was running behind them. The old woman caught her breath and said, "Well, you were at my home checking my gas meter, and when I saw you running away, I figured I''d better run too!"
One day little jonny was out flying his toy airplane while his mom was in the kitchen doing the dishes, vroom all you stupid muther fuckers getting in, get in on the right, all you stupid muther fuckers getting off get off at the left, well his mother heard him and said JONNY get in here stand in the corner and think about what youve said, so he stands in the corner for a half hour and his mom came to him and said have you learned your lesson yet and he said yes, ok his mom said you can go out and fly your plane noe, vrooom all you nice people getting on get on on the right, all you nice people getting off get off on the left, and if your wandering about the half hour delay ask the bitch in the kitchen
A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie."The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."The gay continues, "I'll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won't say anything."The bartender says, "Well, all right!" and pours a beer.A while later a cowboy walks in and says "Bartender give me a beer! I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls" A voice is heard from the corner. "Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!"
/* GCFL wishes all our readers a Merry Christmas! */
When I was a child of about twelve years old, we had a Christmas that I have never forgotten. We grew up in humble means to say the least, but we generally always had one or two gifts under the tree even if they were only socks and underwear.
During this particular Christmas, by good fortune we had many gifts. For the first time in a long time, we received a lot of the things we actually wanted. I was one of seven children, so this was a very big deal. We were all so excited and could hardly wait until Christmas morning.
However, on that Christmas Eve, after careful reflection and much heated discussion, my father decided that it was much too much, and that in this frenzy that we had lost the true meaning of Christmas.
With much trepidation, we were instructed to hand over all but one of our unopened gifts. There was some crying, some anger, some shock and disbelief. What happened next truly astounded us. My more...
I was hanging out in a SCSI bar. A loud bandwidth played in the corner.
I gave the place a binary search. I saw a little chip in the corner. She SIMMed like a pro. I traversed over to her.
She pressed her Apples against me. "Hey, Mac, do you have a hard drive?"
"No, only a floppy," I replied.
"Well, then you need an Amiga," she sed.
"Vi?"
"Well, if I was your Amiga, we could interface."
We went to a motel on a VESA local bus.
The motel was SCSI-2. It needed to be debugged.
"So, how much is this going to cost me?" I queried.
She added it up right away. She had a mind like a...like a.... She could add really fast.
She stripped her binaries. It was quite a procedure.
"I'm going to turn your software into hardware," she transmitted.
She started to more...
A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido. A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this happening and interrupts, "Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your dog just pissed all down the leg of your pants?" "Yes, I'm trying to break him of this dreadful habit", replies the blind man. "Well, it's none of my business," says the onlooker, "but you're not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a biscuit!" To which the blind fellow chuckles, "Oh I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"