Computer Support Staff Jokes

How many Support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

"Wait! Maybe the bulb isn't broken. Let's try it again."

"It's in the manual. Didn't you read the manual?"

"The bulb was fine; you just forgot to turn the switch on."

"The light bulb doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard socket."

"Well, we have an exact copy of your light bulb here and it seems to be working OK. Can you be more specific about the exact problem?"

"Our engineers are busy at the moment... We have assigned query number 987632 to your question. Please refer to it in all future correspondence."

How many first-time computer users does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it takes him three hours and two phone calls to the electrician before he realizes he forgot to turn the switch on.

How many Microsoft Support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they have declared darkness to be the new standard.

One, but only if "light bulb" can be found in the Microsoft Knowledge Base.

The truth is that if you take a little time to learn a few basic principles and some of the technical lingo, buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. So let's get started!

Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?

HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?

Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?

HelpLine: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?

Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.

HelpLine: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?

Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has' 4X' on it.

At this point the HelpLine operator realized that the caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.