Complaint Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a hallowe'en party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
    A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."
    The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
    A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says: "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."
    Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint.
    The more...

    The complaint letter from Judi: We Blonde jokes at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side. We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff. Sined by the Blonde jokes at the ofise (sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

    A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a hallowe'en party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says: "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint.The next day he receives a more...

    After examining his seventy-five year old patient, the doctor said, "You're in remarkable shape for a man your age."
    "Yes, I know," said the old gentleman. "I have only one complaint. My sex drive is too high. Is there anything you can do for that, Doc?"
    "Your what?!" gasped the doctor.
    "My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can."
    "Lower it?!" the doctor exclaimed, still unable to believe what the seventy-five year old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?"
    "These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."

    One day a man has a terrible stomach complaint and goes along to see his doctor. The doctor tells him that he is very ill, but that he can cure his condition with a course of suppositories inserted deep into his rectum every 6 hours.
    "Right" says the doctor, "bend over and I'll do the first one for you." The man bends down and the doctor deposited the suppository. He then gives the man his course and sends him home.
    At home 6 hours later the man realises that he can't stick the supposiory far enough up, by himself, so he asks his wife to help him insert the slippery bullet. After explaining to her what to do, the man bends over. His wife puts one hand on her husband's shoulder to brace herself and thrusts really hard. To her horror the man lets out a blood curdling scream.
    "My God" she cries. "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"
    "No" replies the man. "But I have just realised that when the doctor did it, he had more...

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