Complaint Jokes / Recent Jokes

The complaint letter from Judi:We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff. Sined by the blonds at the ofise (sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, November 29, 1992The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend.Sorensen's complaint was that his reputation was damaged because the Sun engaged in "speculation" that he had used only one hand to choke her (the other being forced into her mouth). In fact, he said he used both hands.

The Perfect Halloween Costume
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his more...

"My mother-in-law passed away last week." "What was the complaint?" "There was no complaint. Everybody was satisfied."

Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! And how long have you had this complaint? What complaint?

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen's complaint was that his reputation was damaged because the Sun engaged in "speculation" that he had used only one hand to choke her (the other being forced into her mouth). In fact, he said he used both hands.

Doctor, doctor, I cant concentrate, one minute Im ok, and the next minute, Im blank! And how long have you had this complaint? What complaint?