Chopped Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Funny, I smell carrots too".
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.
The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!!!!
What did one ghost say to another?
Do you believe in people?

New KGB Borscht, by Chef V. Pootine 2 quarts beef stock
3 tablespoons butter
1 cup cabbage, finely chopped
1 cup potatoes, diced
1/2 cup carrots, diced
1 stalk celery, minced
1 onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes
1/2 cup juice (from can of beets)
1 cup cooked or canned beets, diced
1 teaspoon vinegar
chopped dill or parsley (for garnishing)
dollop sour cream a pinch of radioactive isotope polonium-210 In a large heavy pan, melt butter and lightly sauté cabbage, potatoes, carrots, celery and onion for approximately 5 minutes. Add beef stock. Blend canned tomatoes or press through a sieve until fine. Add pureed tomatoes and beet juice to stock. Cover and simmer over low heat until vegetables are firmly tender but not soft. At this point, add the polonium-210, being careful not to get it on any exposed skin, as you will die. Season well with salt and pepper and serve with a dollop of sour cream to your least favorite person.