Chained Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Writer's hell !

    Hot 5 years ago

    A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Oh, my," the writer said, "let me see heaven."
    A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons.
    "Hey," the writer said, "this is just as bad as hell."
    "Oh, no it's not," St Peter replied, "here your work gets published!"

    Salman Joke

    Hot 3 years ago

    Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die together in an accident and go
    to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here
    in heaven: Don`t step on the ducks!"
    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
    best to avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter
    with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together
    and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
    chained to the ugly woman!"
    The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn`t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for Aamir Khan.
    Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
    eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY more...

    Ugly Beast

    Hot 1 year ago

    I dreamt last night that I went to Heaven, and I met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. I asked him that since I arrived in Heaven if I could take a look around the place. St. Peter agreed, and even came along with me to show me around. We went a ways, until we met President Clinton, tied to one of the most ugliest beast you could ever, ever imagine. It was nearly human, probably about 95 years old, 5 inch thick glasses, grease just dripping off its body, muttering every now and then like a sick crow. We asked Willie why he was chained to this awful creature.
    Willie replied: "Well, when I used to live on Earth, I committed a number of sins, and now I'm chained to this really ugly old thing as penance."
    We wished President Clinton the best of luck, and moved on. A while later we met with none other than Elvis Presley, the King of Rock, and he was tied to another of the most ugliest creatures you could imagine, even worse than the first one. We asked Mr. Presley why he was more...

    A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Oh, my," the writer said, "let me see heaven."
    A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Hey," the writer said, "this is just as bad as hell."
    "Oh, no it's not," St Peter replied, "here your work gets published!"

    A blonde, brunet, and red head all went to heaven. When they entered the one rule for them to follow was to never step on a duck. Well the problem was that there was ducks everywhere. If you did step on a duck then you were chained to the uglyiest man in heaven. Well one day sure enough the blonde steps on a duck and she is chained to the uglyiest man in heaven. Well the brunet and the red head are getting along good. But one day the brunet steps on a duck and is chained to the second uglyiest man in heaven. Well after that the red head is espicially carefull and she never does step on a duck. But one day sudenly a very handsome man is chained to her and she asks what did I do to get such a privalige? And the man says I steped on a duck.

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