Castle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Back in the unhappy days when Czechoslovakia was under Soviet domination, a valiant freedom fighter was wandering through the countryside, trying to evade a Soviet agent, who was in hot pursuit, found himself near an old castle, and went inside for refuge.Soon he found that the Soviet agent had followed him into the castle so our hero slipped into the nearest hiding-place, which was a medieval armor. He remained there, very still, until the Soviet gave up in disgust, and left him free to continue working for the liberation of his native land.Why didn't the Soviet agent think to look inside the armor?"Very simple,... As a well-trained Marxist, he would never consider any capitalistic lie as that there was a Czech in the mail."

    Behind the seven seas and seven mountains, there's a castle. And in that castle there's a magic mirror. If you lie to that mirror, it will eat you.
    A black-haired girl came and said: "I think I'm the prettiest!" Zap! The mirror ate her.
    A brunnette came: "I think I'm the prettiest!" Zap! The mirror ate her too.
    A blonde came and said: "I think..." Zap! The mirror ate her.

    Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.The frog hopped into the princess lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't freakin' think so!

    There once was an explorer in a distant land who was granted an audience with the ruler of the kingdom. After being taken through a large, ornate castle, he was introduced to the king. The king was an impressive figure except for one unusual feature, his head was quite small, about the size of a small grapefruit. After talking with the king for some time, the explorer could not contain his curiosity any longer, and asked the king about the size of his head.
    After a pause, the king explained that he had not always been a king, and had in fact, been a fisherman when much younger. One day, while out fishing, he had pulled in his net, and found a mermaid in the net.
    From the waist up, the mermaid was a very beautiful woman, from the waist down, a fish. The fisherman was preparing to take the mermaid to market to sell as a curiosity, when the mermaid spoke, and told him that she was a magic mermaid.
    The mermaid told the fisherman that if he would let her go, she would grant him more...

    There was 3 guys going to the beach to see the bigest sand castle in the world.
    The 1st guy went in the sand castle and heard a voice that said "I got you were I want you and now im gonna eat you" He got scared and went out and told the 2nd guy to gu in.
    The 2nd guy went in and heard the voice that said "I got you where I want you and now im gonna eat you" So he got scared and told the 3rd guy to go in.
    The 3rd guy went in and head the voice "I got you where I want you and now im gonna eat you" BUT he followed where the voice was comming from. He saw a closet and opened the door.
    What was in it?
    A little girl picking her nose saying "I got you were I want you and now im gonna eat you.

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