Castle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Back in the unhappy days when Czechoslovakia was under Soviet domination, a valiant freedom fighter was wandering through the countryside, trying to evade a Soviet agent, who was in hot pursuit, found himself near an old castle, and went inside for refuge.Soon he found that the Soviet agent had followed him into the castle so our hero slipped into the nearest hiding-place, which was a medieval armor. He remained there, very still, until the Soviet gave up in disgust, and left him free to continue working for the liberation of his native land.Why didn't the Soviet agent think to look inside the armor?"Very simple,... As a well-trained Marxist, he would never consider any capitalistic lie as that there was a Czech in the mail."

    Behind the seven seas and seven mountains, there's a castle. And in that castle there's a magic mirror. If you lie to that mirror, it will eat you.
    A black-haired girl came and said: "I think I'm the prettiest!" Zap! The mirror ate her.
    A brunnette came: "I think I'm the prettiest!" Zap! The mirror ate her too.
    A blonde came and said: "I think..." Zap! The mirror ate her.

    Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.The frog hopped into the princess lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't freakin' think so!

    The kinderkarten teacher started school every morning by teaching the kids one new English word. She would then ask them to make sentences to show they understand the use of the word.
    On this particular morning she chose the word "frugal" and explained that it has to do with 'saving', like 'if you are frugal, you save'.
    The kids really had trouble trying to make sentences with this one, untileventually little Sally gets up and says she has a story...
    "One day, many many years ago there was a beautiful princess who lived in a wonderful castle in a wonderful land. One afternoon the little princess went for a walk in the woods outside the castle, picking flowers as she went.
    Suddenly, after a while she realised that she had lost her way and had no idea how to get back to the castle.
    Fortunately just then she noticed a clearing in the woods ahead, and in the middle of the clearing sat a handsome prince on his white horse!
    So she ran to the prince and more...

    There once was an explorer in a distant land who was granted an audience with the ruler of the kingdom. After being taken through a large, ornate castle, he was introduced to the king. The king was an impressive figure except for one unusual feature, his head was quite small, about the size of a small grapefruit. After talking with the king for some time, the explorer could not contain his curiosity any longer, and asked the king about the size of his head.
    After a pause, the king explained that he had not always been a king, and had in fact, been a fisherman when much younger. One day, while out fishing, he had pulled in his net, and found a mermaid in the net.
    From the waist up, the mermaid was a very beautiful woman, from the waist down, a fish. The fisherman was preparing to take the mermaid to market to sell as a curiosity, when the mermaid spoke, and told him that she was a magic mermaid.
    The mermaid told the fisherman that if he would let her go, she would grant him more...

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