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HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Leave

HER:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
12a. Hit "cancel"
12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check more...

Twas a month before Christmas
From my wife came the wail,
"Take out the garbage
And go get the mail."

So I trudged to my mailbox
And what did I see?
Why, a miniature disc
And computer CD!

'Twas a limited offer
From America Online,
I knew in a twinkling
That this deal was fine!

"Unlimited" access
for one little fee,
And if I didn't like it
I could cancel it free.

So I plugged the thing in
And it just wouldn't load,
The message said "Error!"
And something in code.

And this is when I
Started getting real nervous
So I waited four hours
For "Customer Service."

This techno-geek helped me
To load and install it,
Then demanded the VISA
I keep in my wallet.

So I gave him my number
And what did I spy?
"Terms and Conditions" screens
Whistling more...