Makeup Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Equal?

    Hot 7 months ago

    "Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
    1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
    2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
    home to the church, even if you're driving there.
    3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
    4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
    5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...

    a kids mum is putting on makeup. she then says shit. "what is shit" asked the kid. "its another word for putting on makeup said the mum. then the kid goes to the park where a man is selling condoms. "what are condoms asked the kid. condoms is another word for coats sed the man. at home the kids mum and dad are having an srgument and are calling each other bitches and bastards. what are bitches and bastards asks the the kid. bitches and bastards is just another word for ladies and gentlemen sed the kids parents. in the kitchen the kids dad is cooking a chicken and he says fuck. what is fuck sed the kid. it is another word for cooking the chicken says the dad. later on the doorbell rings and the kids parents tell the kid to answer the door. so the kid answers the door and says bitches and bastard may i take your condoms my mum is upstairs shiting on her makeup and my dad is in the kitchen fucking the chicken.

    Yo mamma so dumb,that she had to put make up on her forhead to make up her mind

    [This is YET ANOTHER one]
    Yes, now women too can enjoy special "just for her" seminars taught by our
    all-male faculty.
    SEMINARS FOR WOMEN
    "Are you ready to leave?"-Definition of the word "yes"
    Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
    Elementary Map Reading
    Crying and law enforcement
    Advanced Math Seminar-Program your VCR
    You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
    Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
    The Seven-Outfit Week
    PMS-It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly
    Since Puberty-Deal With It)
    Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
    Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
    Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
    Driving IV: Makeup and Driving-It's As Simple As Oil and Water
    The Super Bowl: Not a Game-A Sacrament
    Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love more...

    'Are you ready to leave?' - Definition of the word 'yes'
    Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly, 'Honey, do I look fat?')
    Elementary Map Reading
    Crying and law enforcement
    Advanced Math Seminar - Program your VCR
    You can go shopping for less than 4 hours
    Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: a study in contrast
    The Seven-Outfit Week
    PMS - It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty - Deal With It)
    Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
    Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
    Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
    Driving IV: Makeup and Driving - It's As Simple As Oil and Water
    The Super Bowl: Not a Game - A Sacrament
    Telephone Translations (was: 'Me Too' equals 'I Love You')
    How to Earn Your Own Money
    Gift-giving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
    Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
    Know When to Say When: The more...

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