Californian Jokes

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask "Now what'd you go and do THAT for?" The Texan just drawled "Where I come from, we got a lot of those."
Not to be outdone, the Californian reaches in his saddle bag and pulls out a full bottle of the best Californian wine there is. He throws the bottle in the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it to pieces. The Oregonian and the Texan both groan, but the Californian is quick to point out "Where I come from, we've got a lot of those."
Next the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of the best microbrew beer that Portland makes. He throws the bottle high up in the air, takes out his gun, shoots the Californian, catches the bottle, and proceeds to drink the more...

A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses.
The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of whiskey, took a long draught, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair.
The Californian looked at the Texan and said, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!! The Texan replied, "In Texas, there`s plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap.
A while later, not wanted to be outdone, the Californian pulled out a bottle of champagne, took a few sips, threw the half full champagne bottle into the air, pulled out his gun, and shot it in midair.
The Nevadan couldn`t believe this and said "What the heck did you that for? That was an expensive bottle of champagne!! The Californian replied, "In California there is plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap."
A while later, the Nevadan pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He opened it, took a more...

An Oregonian, a Californian, and a Texan were out camping. They were lazing around the campfire when the Texan pulled out a bottle of tequila and after taking a couple of swallows, threw the bottle in the air, pulled out his six-shooter, and neatly shot the bottle. The Californian noted that there was still some tequila left in the bottle, but the Texan replied,' That's okay, we have plenty of tequila where I come from.'

The Californian promptly brought out his bottle of White Zinfandel, took two swallows, threw it up in the air, and shot it with a Glock 9mm pistol with the 17-round magazine, stating:' We have plenty of wine where I come from.'

The Oregonian took all this in and finally opened a bottle of Henry's Blue Boar Irish Ale. He downed the entire bottle, threw it up in the air, shot the Californian with a 12-guage Mossberg he kept around for the birds, and deftly caught the bottle. The Texan's jaw dropped nearly to his silver belt buckle and his eyes more...

Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked a Colt. 45 pistol out of his pocket and shot the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody. The patrons at the bar shouted, “Hey, bud, why’d you waste that tequila? ” The Texan said, “Heck, it’s just tequila. Us Texans go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want. ” Not to be outdone, the Californian whipped out a corkscrew and uncorked a bottle of wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it, sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped, tossed the bottle in the air, nicked it with a round from a silly little chrome-plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the bar with wine. The patrons, upset by the casual waste and more...

There was a Texan and a Californian walking through a field, when they came across a sheep with his head stuck in a fence.
The Texan quickly dropped his pants and mounted the sheep.
After he was done he turned to the California guy and asked if he wanted to go next... the Californian then dropped his pants and put his head in the fence.