Buttons Jokes / Recent Jokes

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love italian food...
Bad girls love italian waiters.

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"Good girls never go after another girl's man...Bad girls go after him AND his brother.Good girls wear white cotton panties...Bad girls don't wear any.Good girls wax their floors...Bad girls wax their bikini lines.Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.Good girls make chicken for dinner...Bad girls make reservations.Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...Bad girls know they could do better.Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.Good girls love italian food...Bad girls love italian waiters.

Good girls say "Thanks for a wonderful dinner."
Bad girls say, "What's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man.
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties.
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner.
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies.
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss.
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of
pearls.
Good girls love Italian food.
Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) Meow occasionally.
6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) Say "Ding" at each floor.
8) Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) Try to make more...

RELATIONSHIP BUTTONS

1. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

2. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

3. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

4. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

GENERAL LIFE

5. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

6. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

7. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

8. Do I look like a freakin' people person?

9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

OFFICE BUTTONS

10. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

11. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

13. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

GREAT INSULT BUTTONS

14. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

15. You! Off my planet!

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the more...

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well.
"I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the more...