Butt Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was the first day of the school year and the first grade teacher was asking her students their names. "What's your name?" she asked a little girl in the front row.
"Happy Butt," the little girl cheerfully replied.
"Honey, I don't think that's your name. I'd like you to go to the principal's office to get this straightened out," said the teacher.
So, the little girl went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"
"Happy Butt," she answered.
The principal phoned the little girl's mother to get this cleared up once and for all.
As soon as he hung up the phone, he looked at the litte girl and said, "Your name is Gladys, dear, not Happy Butt."
"Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?" exclaimed the little girl.
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."
So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."
The teacher says OK, she can handle it.
The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."
She says yes I know who you are.
Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.
So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said more...
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up, and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt, so I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me! "
"Johnny!" the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad!" Johnny said. "It wasn't my fault! There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Lee who was sitting next to me saw it, and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't more...
It was this little girl's first day of school, and the teacher asked her what her name was.
She replied, "Happy Butt."
The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"
And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all.
After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?"
A couple has a male friend visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in and keeps him from traveling. Since the couple doesn't have a guest room, the friend says he'll find a nearby hotel and be on his way in the morning.
"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we are all friends here." The husband agrees, and before long they're settled in: Husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.
After a while, the husband begins snoring. The wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed and invites him to have sex with her. Naturally he'd like to, but he's reluctant. "We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me," he says.
"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair out of his butt. He won't even wake up."
The friend does and, sure enough, more...
This lovely little girl was entering class for the first time. A friendly little boy said his name was "David, what is yours?" "Happy Butt" she says. "Don't lie to me, that isn't your name! What is your name?" "Happy Butt" she says again. I'm going to tell the teacher on you for lying!" he shouts. He gets the teacher and says she is lying to him about her name. "What is your name?" asks the teacher. "Happy Butt" says the little girl. "No, no," says the teacher. "What is your real name?" "Happy Butt" replies the little girl. "Shame on you for lying." says the teacher. "You go straight to the principal's office right this minute!" "Why are you here?" asks the principal of the little girl. "They think I'm lying when I tell them my name is Happy Butt." said the little girl. "Your name can't be Happy Butt" says the principal. "I'm going to more...