Bringing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him.
"Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says,
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."
A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.
The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby
stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him, "Don't worry,
son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making
them happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in
the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will
be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and
daddies."
A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from
the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him
where he's been all night.
The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Yes, there is a difference in the way the English language is used on the Eastern and Western parts of the USA. This translation guide is said to have been found in an East Coast office of a major computer manufacturer.

Here's a handy guide for those of you who have to deal with vendors, customers, or other divisions on the left coast.


East Coast West Coast

absolutely not maybe
yes maybe
action item by Feb 12 for joe Joe's working on the problem
bozo subcontractor
brawl design review

ignore him, he's new I'm bringing him up to speed
local bar offsite facility
meet me in the parking lot let's take that discussion offline
oh shit thanks for bringing that to my attention
overdesigned robust

punch his lights out constructive confrontation
shut the fuck up thank you for your input
shut up a minute let me share this with you
that's totally incompetent let me build on that more...

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
* Forgetting strap $10
* Changing strings after every set $15
* Using electric tuner $15
* Setting up mic "just in case" $75
* Forgetting to turn amp on $40
* Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
* Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
* Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
* Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
* Skull decals on bass $150
* Bringing fretless bass $500

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"