Q: What goes around at 150mph and is red and green?
A: A frog in a blender.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair.
Q: Why should you put a baby in a blender feet first?
A: To see the expression on its face.
A guy walks into the Microsoft Shop.
Guy: I'd like a cheesecake, please.
The receptionist hands him a block of cheese.
Guy: Umm... This is just the cheese. Where's the cake?
Rec: You have to purchase that seperately.
Guy: What the -? What kind of product are you trying to sell me? Oh well.
Rec: Good. I knew you'd understand.
The Rec hands him the cake.
Guy: So... What do I do with the cheese and the cake?
Rec: You blend it.
Guy: With what?
The Rec hands him a blender.
The guy puts the cheese and the cake into the blender and blends it.
Guy: Now I have a bunch of liquid. What do I do with it?
Rec: Oh - you retard, you're supposed to exchange the cake for the batter first.
Guy: For the sake of Pete, what the -? Fine. Let's start over. So I get the cheese and I get the cake. Then I exchange the cake for the batter, right?
The guy blends it.
Guy: Right... I'm still stuck with a load more...