Liquid Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village.

    Once she's inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement.

    After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light. His beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin and smooth-shaven scalp glisten with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. She's really pleased to have met this guy.

    At this point the swimmer slowly struggles up from the bed. He fumbles the lid off a bottle on the bedside table, pours himself a small shot in a glass and drinks it down in one gulp. Then he stands bolt upright, takes a deep breath and, in a surprisingly energetic motion, dives under the bed, climbing out the other side and beating his more...

    Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
    Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
    Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
    Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your
    knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
    Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
    Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
    Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.
    Corn Poopie- Self explanatory.
    Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind more...

    Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap? A: It's harder to pick up.

    Viagra now available in liquid form. FDA officials today announced the release of the wonder drug Viagra in a new, easy-to-take liquid form. It is sold under the name "Mydixadrill."
    Now when men come home from work in the evening, they can pour themselves a stiff one.

    President Bush said the recent airline bomb plot arrests are a "stark reminder" that the U.S. is "at war with Islamic fascists."
    But he is confident that victory will soon belong to us, the Christian fascists.

    The plot involved several people attempting to bring liquid explosives aboard several jetliners, to which airport officials responded by not allowing anyone to bring any liquid of any kind aboard.
    Good thing no one was trying to bring a solid explosive as well, otherwise nothing would be allowed on board. Except for gas and plasma (which can be an unpleasant mix).

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