Becky Jokes / Recent Jokes

Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, more...

Bubba and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "Whatever has possessed you to study Russian?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. .. We just want to be able to understand him."

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
Her pale lips moved. “Jake, ” she said quietly.
“Hush, ” he quickly interrupted, “don’t talk. ”
But she insisted. “Jake, ” she said in her tired voice. “I have to talk. I must confess. ”
“There is nothing to confess, ” said the weeping Jake. “It’s all right. Everything’s all right. ”
“No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you. ”
Jake stroked her hand, squeezed it and sobbingly told her, “Now Becky, don’t be concerned. I know all about it, ” he cried uncontrollably. “Why else would I poison you? ”

Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don''t talk."
But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There''s nothing to confess" replied the weeping John. "It''s all right. everything''s all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don''t torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Becky said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?"
The woman shot her an angry look, "Becky, how dare you talk about your father like that!"

Bubba and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "Whatever has possessed you to study Russian?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk... We just want to be able to understand him."