Ricky Jokes

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    Ricky the Rooster

    Hot 2 years ago

    A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied:' I have just the rooster for you. Ricky here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!'

    So the farmer took Ricky back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Ricky a little pep talk.' Ricky,' he said,' I'm counting on you to do your stuff.' And without a word he strutted into the hen house.

    Ricky was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ricky had finished having his way with each hen. But Ricky didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried more...

    A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
    Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.
    Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky
    The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends,
    aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
    There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
    Dear Becky,
    I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
    Take Care, Ricky

    Ricky ran into the kitchen sobbing and cradling something in his hands. "Mommy, my turtle's dead," he sobbed, as he held the turtle out to his mother.
    His mother kissed him on the head and said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper and put him in a little box. Then we'll have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, then to the pet store to get you a new pet. I don't want you... " Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Ricky, your turtle isn't dead after all."
    "Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"

    The children in the Sunday school class were asked by their teacher to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. When she looked at little Ricky's picture, she was puzzled to see that he had drawn four people in an airplane, so she asked him which story it represented.
    Little Ricky replied, "That's the Flight to Egypt."
    "Oh, I see," said the teacher. "That must be Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, but who's the fourth person?"
    "That's Pontius... the Pilot!" answered Ricky.

    The teacher was asking her grade school students what their parents did for a living. "Ricky, you can be first. Tell us what your mother does all day."
    "My mother is a doctor," Ricky proudly said.
    "That's wonderful, Ricky. How about you, Susie?" the teacher asked.
    Susie stood up and told the class that her father was a mailman.
    "Thank you, Susie," said the teacher. "Now you, Billy. What does your father do?"
    Standing up, Billy proudly announced, "My father drinks, murders people and steals their money."
    Aghast at his comments, the teacher changed the subject and decided to pay a visit to Billy's house later in the day. When she arrived at his house and rang the doorbell, his father answered the door. She explained to him what Billy had said and asked if there might be a logical explanation for it.
    "Actually, I'm an attorney, but how do I explain a thing like that to a seven year old?" the more...

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