"The Truth about Contract Bidding" joke

Bidding - Additional Requirements
Section 1A - The Truth
The requirements of Division 01 and of those documents under bidding
requirements and conditions of the contract and anything else we don't
think looks good here is null and void. If you know what's good for
you, you'd read this real close (meaning the contractor).
1.1 The work we did is clearly showed in the attached plans and
specifications. Our engineer, whose had plenty of college, spent one
hell of a lot of time when he drawed up these here plans and
specifications, but nobody can think of everything.
Once your bid is in - that's it, brother. From then on, anything
wanted by our engineer, or any of his friends, or anybody else (except
the contractor) shall be considered as showed, specified or implied
and shall be provided by the contractor without no expense to nobody,
but himself (meaning the contractor).
1.2 If the work is did without no expense to the contractor, then the
work will be took down and did again until the extra expense to the
contractor is satisfactory to our engineer.
1.3 Our engineer's plans is right as drawed. If sumthin is drawed
wrong, it shall be discovered by the contractor, corrected, and did
right at no extra expense to us. It won't cut no ice with us or our
engineer if you point out any mistakes our engineer has drawed. If
you do, it will be one hell of a long time before you do any more work
for us or him (meaning the engineer).
1.4 The contractor is not supposed to make fun of our engineer, his
plans, or the kind of work we're having did. If he does, it's
just too bad for him (meaning the contractor).
1.5 Any contractor walking around the jobs with a smile on his face is
subject to the review of his bid.
1.6 If the contractor don't find all our engineer's mistakes before
he bids the job, or if the contractor ain't got enough sense to know
that our engineer is going to think up a bunch of new stuff that's
going to have to be did before the job is complete, then it's just too
bad for him (meaning the contractor).

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