"Santa Sex Doll" joke

After 10 years of marriage, Sue was becoming more and more frustrated. Her husband Peter worked very long hours and was no longer interested in bonking. Plucking up her courage, and with a few stiff drinks, Sue visited a sex shop.

"Hello," said Sue. "Look, I'm very embarrassed about this. My husband doesn't make love to me. You sell' Sex Dolls' for men - I'm here because I'm interested in buying, well, a Sex Doll. You know. .. one with a Dick - for me."

The shop assistant was taken aback. In front of him was a lady - about 25 years old - with a 36 DD bust. .. And a figure he would have crawled over a kilometre of broken glass to buy a coffee for.

"Well Miss - or Madam." He took another breath. "Frankly, we don't get much call for that sort of thing. However, we do have three models in the back room."

Hand on her chin, Sue looked him directly in the eye and smiled. "Don't just stand there - tell me about them."

"Well," the man replied, "I'm sure you won't like our first model. It's called "The Soccer Player". Don't get me wrong; It's very nice. Powerful legs. .. cute bum - But it does tend to' dribble' a lot."

Sue wasn't exactly delighted about this. "Well. ...No. Not interested in that!" Sue whispered, "What else have you got?"

"Well, " came the reply, "We also have the' Aussie Cricketer' Listen, I must me fair with you. This is a great model, big... well huge, in the right places, but. .. "

"Yes! ?!" gulped Sue, with eyes like dinner plates.

"Once it's in - It's almost impossible to get it out. Frankly, we've only sold two of these in the last four years"

"Don't want that," said Sue. "You said you have three models. What's left?"

"I hesitate to even talk about this," said the shop assistant. "It's called' The Santa Claus' Model."

"What d'Ya mean, "The Santa Claus' model?" replied Sue

"Well," answered the shop assistant. He took a deep breath. "This model only comes once a year and. ... when it does - it fills up both your stockings!"