"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

Ever wanted to learn a language OTHER than English? Well, here's your first Chinese lesson...
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the more...

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