"I'm so ugly" joke
I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
Is your dad a terrorist?
Cuz you da bomb!
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?