"I'm so ugly" joke
I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" they turned around and went home.