"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

I don't believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.

Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.

A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four more...

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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