"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse".
"Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken."You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where.""Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, more...

An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. "If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of candy." The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an more...

A smart blonde, a blonde, and a Santa Clause jumped off a bridge at the same time. which one hit the ground first?

The blonde! The other two don't exist!

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