"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.

Is your dad a terrorist?
Cuz you da bomb!

5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen more...

Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?

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