"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Ever wanted to learn a language OTHER than English? Well, here's your first Chinese lesson...
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the more...

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 67% are positive. 0 comment(s).