"I'm so ugly" joke
I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is more...
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.