"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

A man complaining to a friend "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman... then....POW!!!... it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhhhhh....my wife found out...."

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