"I'm so ugly" joke
I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your more...
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud' hiss-pop' noise.' The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide.' more...
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse".
"Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".
The hungover couple dawdled over a mid-afternoon breakfast, after a particularly wild all-night party held in their fashionable apartment.
"Dearest, this is rather embarrassing," said the husband, "but was it you I made love to in the library last more...
The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.