"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Q. Two feminists jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" they turned around and went home.

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