"I'm so ugly" joke

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

And out of the night came the terrible scream,
"Who put the sand in the Vaseline!?"

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...

3 girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."
"Which is...?", they replied in more...

A linguistics professor was lecturing her class.
"In the English language," she said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. There is no language, however, wherein a double more...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 67% are positive. 0 comment(s).