"I'm so ugly" joke
I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
A man's wife is his better half, but his mistress is his better hole.
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.
A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.
"Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, more...
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Q: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?