"I'm so ugly" joke

Hot 3 months ago

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

The hungover couple dawdled over a mid-afternoon breakfast, after a particularly wild all-night party held in their fashionable apartment.

"Dearest, this is rather embarrassing," said the husband, "but was it you I made love to in the library last more...

Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

Q: What do a tornado, a hurricane and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to loose a house trailer.

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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