"Headache" joke

Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. After the operation, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long?" Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?". "It's my job." replied the salesman. Joe tried on the suit, it fitted perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!". The salesman eyed Joe then said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck.". Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?". "It's my job." came the familiar reply. Joe tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly. The salesman asked, "How about new shoes?". Joe was on a roll and agreed. The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see, nine-and-a-half?" Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?". "It's my job." said the salesman again. Joe tried on the shoes and they fitted perfectly. He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure, why not." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36." Joe laughed smugly, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The shocked salesman shook his head, "You can't possibly wear a size 34! It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

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Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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