"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 2 years agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

A man on a bus spends much of the journey staring at the guy sitting opposite. Before long the other guy starts staring back and demands to know why he is the focus of so much attention.

“I’m very sorry,” begins the first man, “but if it weren’t for the more...

These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle more...

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
The bartender gave him the more...

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
0
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
0
(0)
beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
1
0
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
1
0
(0)
roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
0
0
(0)
Matthew:This is pretty weird
0
0
(0)
Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
0
0
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
0
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
0
(0)
mike:Deez nuts
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 670 vote(s). 69% are positive. 62 comment(s).