"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 1 year agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...
Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
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You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is more...

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Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
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roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
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Matthew:This is pretty weird
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Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:Deez nuts
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Unknown:Your hair line looks like fuit loops i found your hairline in my cereal box
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Beppo:Stupid and it shows lots of prejudice to Italian Americans
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Superior Anonym:I SUPPORT YOU, JOKE SUBMITTER! Freedom of expression doesn't mean you should express your freedom for intolerance, "Anonym" commenters. Don't get your panties up in a twirl. Or wear comfy underwear. Or better yet, don't wear at all
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Funny Joke? 659 vote(s). 69% are positive. 59 comment(s).