"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 3 years agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

193
52

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

5
0

Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!

24
9

A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

6
0

Mr. Spears announced he will write an autobiography so people will have a better understanding of who he is. Federline will write the book as part of a Learning Annex class he's taking called, "Autobiography Writing For Talentless Douchebags With Nothing To Say."

1
1
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
Hardy:Great
0
1
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
1
(0)
justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
0
1
(0)
beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
1
1
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
1
1
(0)
roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
0
1
(0)
Matthew:This is pretty weird
0
1
(0)
Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
0
1
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
0
1
(0)
mike:in yo mouth
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 678 vote(s). 69% are positive. 60 comment(s).