"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 6 months agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

A woman got turned down for a job on a building site so she threatened to take the company to court for sexual discrimination, when they relented they gave her a job with a scaffolder and she was told that she had to learn 3 hand signals so that she knew what the scaffolder more...

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Dishwasher.
Dishwasher Who?
Dishwasher whay I sphoke vhefore I hafe fawse feeth
(This was the way I spoke before I had false teeth)

At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the Bishop presiding noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but more...

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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
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Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
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roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
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Matthew:This is pretty weird
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Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:Deez nuts
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Funny Joke? 665 vote(s). 69% are positive. 62 comment(s).