"A very attractive lady goes up to a bar" joke

Hot 1 year agoby Tats

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Can't," breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

A couple realise they are spending too much and decide to go through the bills together. "Look at this", demands the wife, "£30 on Beer".
Husband replies, "Well, what about this? £40 on make up?"
The wife looks at him with a smile and more...

My wife says I'm too nosey... at least, that's what she wrote in her diary.

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the more...

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so
hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasn't
drinking milk.
- Dave George

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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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justice:your hairlines as strait as you and that's not that strait
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beetroot:No I do not get it!!!
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Sir Builds Alot:ROFL!! Awesome joke.. :D
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roasted:is god perfect when he made yo hairline never mind he still is he did not make you one
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Matthew:This is pretty weird
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Chris:Ur hairline is so ugly it spelles ur name
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:in yo mouth
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mike:Deez nuts
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Funny Joke? 669 vote(s). 69% are positive. 62 comment(s).