"Do it yourself dentistry" joke

Hot 4 months ago

About this time last year, I was sitting in my dentist's office waiting to have a root canal done, when I noticed a flyer (advertisement) for a "personal dental drill". After some interesting images went through my head, I asked the receptionist if they really sold these things and she said yes.
Well, it was three days before Christmas and I hadn't gotten the secretary in the office (Vivian) a present yet, so I bought one.
When I got home, I realized that there was no literature in the little package - no warranty card, no instruction, no nothing - so I wrote some. Below is the promotional flyer that came with Vivian's.
Thank you for purchasing the "digger" personal dental drill from ACME Corp., makers of do it yourself dental devices since 1939.
We hope you will get years of satisfaction from your new drill. The enclosed instruction manual provides step by step instructions for performing a variety of dental procedures from simple cavaties to root canals and interrogations in the privacy and tranquility of your own home.
All procedures can be performed using materials readily available from your favorite hardware store and a little fortitude (purchased at your favorite liquer store). Save money, entertain the kids - but most of all enjoy the satisfaction of "doing it yourself".
Your new drill should provide you with many years of trouble free service.
However, if you experience any problems, please call our customer service number at 1-800-323-PAIN.
Again, thank you for your purchase.

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