Root Jokes

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    Monday is the root

    Hot 4 years ago

    Monday is the root of all evil.

    Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

    About this time last year, I was sitting in my dentist's office waiting to have a root canal done, when I noticed a flyer (advertisement) for a "personal dental drill". After some interesting images went through my head, I asked the receptionist if they really sold these things and she said yes.
    Well, it was three days before Christmas and I hadn't gotten the secretary in the office (Vivian) a present yet, so I bought one.
    When I got home, I realized that there was no literature in the little package - no warranty card, no instruction, no nothing - so I wrote some. Below is the promotional flyer that came with Vivian's.
    Thank you for purchasing the "digger" personal dental drill from ACME Corp., makers of do it yourself dental devices since 1939.
    We hope you will get years of satisfaction from your new drill. The enclosed instruction manual provides step by step instructions for performing a variety of dental procedures from simple cavaties to root more...

    A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere! A fool and his money are soon elected. A fool and his money are soon popular. A fool and his money is my kind of customer! If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it? All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy. Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH! Even the blind can see money. Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. Money burns a hole in my pocket...how about yours? Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it. Money is the root of all bills. Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love. Money Talks - and it usually says NO! Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money. Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money. This country has the best politicians money can buy. Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of... Turbo-Tax took money out of my more...

    A short history of medicine: I have an ear ache.
    2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
    1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
    1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
    1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
    1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
    2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

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