Satisfaction Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction? A: A tea bag.

    SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.
    FAULT: Glass empty.
    ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
    SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
    FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
    ACTION: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
    SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
    FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
    ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling.
    SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
    FAULT: Improper bladder control.
    ACTION: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation.
    SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
    FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
    ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
    SYMPTOM: Floor more...

    A psychiatrist, who was just starting out, advertised his clinic as follows: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your mania back!"

    A solution to all of your drinking troubles
    Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.
    Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.
    Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.
    Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; beer unusually pale and clear.
    Fault: Glass is empty.
    Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.
    Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
    Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
    Solution: Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.
    Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
    Fault: Loss of self-control.
    Solution: Go and stand beside nearest dog - After a while complain to its owner about its lack of house training.
    Symptom: Bar blurred.
    Fault: You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.
    Solution: Find someone who will buy you another more...

    A solution to all of your drinking troublesSymptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; beer unusually pale and clear.Fault: Glass is empty.Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.Symptom: Feet cold and wet.Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.Solution: Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.Symptom: Feet warm and wet.Fault: Loss of self-control.Solution: Go and stand beside nearest dog - After a while complain to its owner about its lack of house training.Symptom: Bar blurred.Fault: You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.Symptom: Bar swaying.Fault: Air turbulence unusually high - maybe due to darts more...

  • Recent Activity